How to talk with your teen about social media
The goal isn't to win the conversation. It's to keep having one. Teens who feel heard stay open. Teens who feel surveilled go quiet.
Co-navigate, don't surveil
Sit next to them on the app sometimes. Ask who they follow. Ask what's funny right now. You'll learn more in five minutes of scrolling together than in a month of monitoring software.
Surveillance shifts the dynamic. Curiosity keeps it open.
Respond, don't punish first
If you find something concerning, lead with a question. "Tell me what was happening when you saw this" gets you more than "you're grounded."
Big consequences for the first disclosure usually buy you silence on the second one.
Conversation starters
- What's the funniest thing you've seen on your feed this week?
- Who are the three creators you actually look forward to?
- Has anything online ever made you feel weird or stuck with you afterwards?
- If you saw a friend getting piled on in comments, what would you do?
- What's something you wish your feed had less of?
- If we built a "phones-away" hour together, when would it make most sense?
Use these as warm-up questions, not interrogations. One good question per car ride is plenty.
But you don't have to take our word for it
These are some resources we recommend. Inclusion here doesn't imply endorsement of every recommendation from these organizations. Read them with the same critical eye you'd bring to any single source—including this one. A few are global; most are from North American or UK sources.
Family guidance and conversation tools
Common Sense Media—Parents' Guide to Social Media
Plain-language explainers, age-by-age guidance, and reviews of the apps teens actually use.
Internet Matters (UK)
UK-based equivalent of Common Sense Media—app-by-app guides, age-by-age advice, and practical online-safety tools for parents.
ConnectSafely Parent Guides
Short, practical guides to specific apps and online-safety topics, written for non-technical caregivers.
Family Online Safety Institute (FOSI)
Research, policy work, and family resources focused on a culture of responsibility in the connected world.
Children and Screens
Research-backed resources from the Institute of Digital Media and Child Development on how screens shape child development, with practical guidance for parents and educators.
Screen Sanity
Parent-to-parent guidance—conversation starters, family templates, and decision frameworks for navigating screens at every age.
Reporting harms or getting help
INHOPE
Global network of reporting hotlines—find the right place to report illegal online content in your country.
Child Helpline International
Directory of crisis helplines for kids and teens by country—for the moments when your child needs to talk to someone right now.
Thorn for Parents
Thorn is a nonprofit that builds technology and research to defend children from online sexual abuse. Their parents' site offers conversation-first guidance on tough topics like sextortion, grooming, and nudes.
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